Feeling Engagement in Move 3

If we didn’t have good models for how to engage and process our feelings, then we often develop adaptive, but impaired methods of managing them. Distressed feelings create a lot of problems, particularly when we don’t know what to do about them. Move 3 gives clients a method of engaging their feelings.

Feeling engagement in Move 3 is very similar to the article “Trusting Your (client’s) Gut”. We differentiate the client from the feeling by asking the client about the feeling. Have them note the somatic sensation of the feeling and identify where they feel it in their body. Assess whether they are able create congruent language around the feeling using feeling words, metaphors, and/or descriptors.

Ask questions like, “What does the feeling what?” and “Is that what you want? The same as the feeling or something else?” What thoughts come with the feeling and are these true, comforting distortions, or self-justifications? Is what the feeling believes accurate to the inner experience of the other if it is directed towards another person?

Move 3 helps clients engage their distress while maintaining agency. This helps the client assess what feelings are trying to communicate and what to do about them.