How Attunement Works in Polyvagal Theory
Interpersonal neurobiology has shown us that the more safely connected we are, the easier it is to self-regulate. The better we self-regulate, the easier it is to prioritize the needs of the other in relationship. The better we feel attended to, the easier it is to regulate ourselves. The reciprocal process continues to reinforce itself.
The same is true of disconnection. The more alone we feel, the more our nervous system feels threatened through neuroception- the ANS’ process of assessing relational safety. Our amygdala prioritizes self-preservation, so our behaviors become increasingly self-focused rather than relational.
Others perceive this reaction as “non-caring” behavior which activates their own neuroception and self-protective behaviors. This also becomes a reciprocal and self-reinforcing process, driving heightened experiences of felt and relational distress.
This is why Attunement is so integral to ASR! Nothing is more soothing than a wiser, trusted other who can endure our distress and withstand our self-protective behaviors and remain connect to us in our most distressed and isolated state. This is not just emotional, it is neurobiological.
Attunement is inherently contradictory of dorsal vagal states of helplessness and despair as it offers relational safety and connection.
Attunement provides clients additional resources to assist in physiological and emotional regulation in sympathetic activation such as anxiety, anger, and discontent. It also leverages two regulation systems: co-regulation within the therapeutic relationship which assists self-regulation within the client.
Attunement validates and reinforces the presence of security, care, and connection in ventral vagal states. This anchors and affirms this state is not only achievable, but dependable and able to be regained following periods of disruption or distress.
The greatest intervention you provide is the presence of your attuned self to your clients.