Core Elements of Attunement

Mirroring is a basic therapeutic skill we learn in grad school. By repeating clients’ words back to them, we communicate we are listening and tracking what they are saying to us.

However, mirroring can easily become parroting—a disconnected repetition that leaves clients saying, “Yeah, I just said that!”

Rather than reflect just the words clients’ say, attunement allows us to reflect clients’ felt experience back to them. This creates a two-person shared experience of connectedness that is unmatched in its power and effect.

Here are elements of attunement to hone in on:

• Embodiment- somatically feeling the client’s feeling through interoception.

  • Can well can you somatically feel the client’s feeling?

• Connectivity- honing in on the critical core aspects of the client’s felt experience.

  • What is the most important aspect of this feeling?

• Language- finding words to describe clients’ felt experience they may not have but which are congruent with how they feel.

  • What words best describe what the client’s feeling is saying?

• Prosody- how the feeling affects our vocal rhythm, speed, pitch, and emphasis.

  • How connected and affected is your voice? Does it sound like the feeling?

• Posture- how the feeling’s somatic sensation shows up in changes to our physical posture and facial expressions to convey emotion, interest, and engagement.

  • Is your body static, stiff, disconnected, or does it reflect the embodiment of the feeling?

• Tracking- remaining attuned to the client through their evolving felt experience.

  • Did the feeling evolve into a different feeling? Did you move on and leave the feeling behind? How is the new feeling related to the prior one?

Be aware of your attunement, how you experience the client within yourself, and how you allow that to affect your responsiveness toward your client. You’ll be amazed at the impact. Attunement is a game changer.